It’s not tough to convince people that Charisma is important when taking on a leadership role. However, the issues begin to surface when my clients actually explore the degree of their own Charisma, and find themselves asking the question…”how do I develop my Charisma as a Leader?”
I went on a personal journey to discover more real applications of Charisma. I had many people in mind that I could name as “Charismatic”. Without telling them of my hidden agenda, I made it a point to discover what it was that attracted me to them. And, could I observe what brought other people to the same attraction? Here’s what I found with Richard and Susan.
I have always struggled a bit with remembering names of people. I have a little system I learned years ago to overcome this issue that has helped immensely. The Leaders Institute resource center http://www.leadersinstitute.com/resource/howtoremembernames.html offers some good tips including their “mind picture”, which is similar to my favorite tactic.
When I asked Richard how he seemed to remember everyone, he had a few insights. He makes an effort to collect business cards when attending events. At some point during the event, he would excuse himself and retire to a “private place” for a few minutes and write notes on each card. These notes included keys to the conversation, some followup thoughts, and also some hints to remember the name to the face. Prior to the event ending, he tried his best to connect with each “new” person one more time, in his mind repeating the name to face sequencing.
Social networking gives us some great opportunities as well. When I enter a new business card (and those notes) from an event into my contact manager, I also look for them on Linkedin, Facebook, or on their website to once again reacquaint my self with the name to the face. This planned repetition I learned from Richard has been very helpful.
Richard develops Charisma by remembering faces and names.
Some people think a “life of the party” person attracts people to them and shows off their Charisma. As we’ll learn later, Charisma must be more than skin deep to positively affect your leadership skills. Think about people you were drawn to, only to find them to be selfish, boring, crude, or self involved.
Once you have an opportunity to be 1-1 with someone, or find yourself interacting within a small group, you will find your personal interaction skills will make you different than the others.
I was sitting at lunch with Susan the other day. I was excited to work my hidden agenda on Charisma. Of course I’d tell her my observations later in our conversation. It was quite engaging. For some reason, I was drawn to tell her so many things about me. While I try to be a good listener, I found it very difficult to listen to Susan, because she was so good at engaging me to talk.
John, (another CEO both Susan and I would like to get to know better) greeted us as he walked to his own table. Then I was able to see how she did it. Observing this brief greeting, I could see it growing from her eyes. As John said hello, Susan’s eyes lit up, as if there was nothing else in the room to see. Everything else had been dimmed in the room except Johns face. He said simply “Hello Susan. It’s been a long time…how are you?” I was amazed to see how Susan’s eyes lit up, and followed first his eyes, then the movement of his lips, and then continued on the triangle of facial movement we all learned in communications 101. Susan’s eyes were not only actively following him, but were sparkling with interest. I could also not help but notice her eyebrows and facial muscles moving with emotional response, and of course her smile was contagious. All of this non verbal response in less than 3.5 seconds. And Susan’s answer? “I am doing great John – Thank you! Gosh, I have not seen you since you won the community volunteer award two years ago. Tell me how that volunteer work has progressed.”
Wow, not only a good quick answer to his open question, but in the same breath, she remembered something important about John, (in effect praising him) and asked him to speak about himself. And of course the eyes…her eyes were all about his response.
Over the next 2 minutes, Susan got a full update on John’s activities, was able to introduce John to me, and agreed to his request to call his office to make an appointment to see him.
Susan creates Charisma, beginning with her eyes.
In summary, you need to take Charisma far beyond being the “dressed for success” person telling the best jokes, and having the ability to be everywhere and claiming you know everyone. Taking Charisma to the next level as a Rare Leader means making it personal, being authentic, and making yourself more than skin deep.
- What do you see in others, making them to Charismatic?
- What simple things can you adopt to develop your Charisma?
- Do you have deep, personal, authentic Charisma?
If you want to learn more about the Rare Leader™ in you,
or if you are interested in retaining Steve as your Executive Coach,